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Chuck Norris vs. Bruce Lee

Daca se bate Chuck Norris cu Bruce Lee, cine castiga? Dilema copilariei noastre. Acum aveti ocazia sa aflati raspunsul. Secventa este din filmul “Return of the dragon”, iar Chuck Norris este baiatul cel rau!!!!! Enjoy it!

Sper sa nu ma caute acum Chuck Norris pentru ca il vorbesc de rau :)))))

noiembrie 19, 2007 Scris de Alex | Chuck Norris, Video | | No Comments

Chuck Norris vs. Google

Ce se intampla daca dai search pe Google dupa termenii “google chuck norris” si apesi butonul I’m feeling lucky? Vezi aici!

noiembrie 19, 2007 Scris de Alex | Chuck Norris, Funny | | No Comments

Chuck Norris vs. Linus Torvalds

De curand cu o nimicitoare roundhouse kick am eliminat Windows XP si am trecut pe Linux SuSE 10.3. In consecinta sa vedem impreuna cine este mai tare, Cuck Norris sau Linus Torvalds. Pe Bill Gates il excludem din start. Este prea slab :)))))

- Linus Torvalds once found a segmentation fault in the universe.
- Linus Torvalds can run kill -9 and kill Chuck Norris.
- Linus Torvalds doesn’t die, he simply returns zero.
- Linus Torvalds first written program had artificial intelligence.
- Linus can divide by zero.
- Linus Torvalds runs Linux on his wristwatch and toster.
- Linus Torvalds doesn’t receive error messages.
- There is no theory of probability, just a list of events that Linus Torvalds allows to occur.
- Linus Torvalds does not sleep. He hacks.
- Linus surfs the web using nothing but netcat.
- Linus Torvalds can play 3D games in his head by interpreting the source code in real-time.
- Linus made the red pill.
- Linus Torvalds didn’t learn from the University of Helsinki, the University of Helsinki learned from Linus Torvalds.
- Linus Torvalds once developed a programming language so good that it makes python look like punch cards.
- Linus Torvalds doesn’t need to boot.
- Linus is real, unless declared Integer.
- Linus doesn’t push the flush toilet button. He simply says “make clean”.
- Linus Torvalds has no dependencies.
- Linus Torvalds takes one look at your desktop and knows which porn sites you visited. In the last ten years.
- Linus Torvalds sleeps with nunchucks.
- Linus can enrich himself simply by chowning your bank account. He does not do this because there is no challenge in it.
- There are no man pages for Linus Torvalds, only god pages.
- Linus Torvalds can do an infinite loop in five seconds… in his head.
- Linus Torvalds doesn’t wear glasses anymore not because he had laser eye surgery, but because he finally got his xorg.conf properly configured in his head.
- Linus Torvalds can use a nice level lower than -20.
- Linus Torvalds doesn’t need to mount his drives.
- Linus Torvalds doesn’t debug. His programs are always perfect.
- Linus Torvalds can install Linux on a dead badger.
- Linus Torvalds doesn’t need backups. He just uploads his files and lets the world mirror them.
- Linus Torvalds is taking over the world. Microsoft is just a diversion so that no one would suspect a mild mannered Finnish programmer.
- Linus Torvalds already has Linux 3.0. He is just keeping it to himself to build suspense.
- Linus Torvalds didn’t design Linux to run on the 386. Intel designed the 386 to run Linux.
- People pray to Jesus, but Jesus prays to Linus Torvalds.
- Linus need not worry about Microsoft patent crap, he simply do `sudo mv /tmp/ms /dev/null`.
- Linus Torvalds is more powerful than root.
- If you could read Linus Torvald’s mind, you’d find that his stream of conciousness is entirely in binary.
- Linus scared A and B away, so they had to make C.
- Linus only has 2 buttons on his keyboard ‘1′ and ‘0′

octombrie 30, 2007 Scris de Alex | Chuck Norris, Funny | | No Comments

Chuck Norris Facts :)))

- Chuck Norris can get a Black-Jack with one card.
- When God said “Let there be light!” Chuck Norris said “Say please”.
- Chuck Norris´s tears are cure for cancer. It is shame that he never had cryed.
- Chuck Norris knows the last digit of pi.
- Chuck Norris can hold his breathe for nine years.
- Chuck Norris doesn’t love Raymond.
- James Cameron wanted Chuck Norris to play the Terminator. However, upon reflection, he realized that would have turned his movie into a documentary, so he went with Arnold Schwarzenegger.
- Chuck Norris hand is the only hand that can beat a Royal Flush.
- Chuck Norris visited Virgins Islands. Now they are called only Islands.
- Long time ago, Chuck Norris travelled to Mars…. we haven’t seen life there, have we?
- Chuck Norris is so fast, he can run around the world and punch himself in the back of the head.
- Chuck Norris can incinerate an ant with a magnifier… at night .
- Chuck Norris and Superman had a runnig contest with the bet that the looser will dress his underwear over his pants.
- Chuck Norris doesn’t believe in God… God believes in Chuck Norris.
- Chuck Norris can kick you so hard your descendants will feel it. Fifty years from now your grandson will grab his head and yell “What the hell was that?!”
- Outerspace exists because stars and planets were afraid to be on the same world as Chuck.
- Chuck Norris does not wear a condom. Because there is no such thing as protection from Chuck Norris.
- Chuck Norris can clap with one hand.
- Chuck Norris gave Mona Lisa that smile.
- In Pamplona, Spain, the people may be running from the bulls, but the bulls are running from Chuck Norris.
- Chuck Norris saved the internet on a floppy disc.
- There are no performance enhancing drugs in sport, just people ChuckNorris has breathed on.
- Chuck Norris can divide by zero.
- Chuck Norris lost his virginity BEFORE his father.
- Chuck Norris can draw a circle of 300 degrees.
- Chuck Norris can strangle a man with a wireless phone.
- Chuck Norris isn’t addicted to Cocaine, Cocaine is addicted to Chuck Norris.
- It’s OK if the mountain doesn’t go to Muhamad, but if it will not go to Chuck Noris…
- The sound that you hear when Chuck’s foot makes contact with someones face was awarded with 7 grammy’s so far.
- Jesus can walk on water, but Chuck Norris can walk on Jesus.
- Jesus can walk on water, but Chuck Norris can swim through land!
- God created man, but Chuck Norris created God.
- God asked for seven months, Chuck Norris gave him seven days.
- In the beginning there was nothing…then Chuck Norris Roundhouse kicked that nothing in the face and said “Get a job”. That is the story of the universe.
- The Bermuda Triangle used to be the Bermuda Square, until Chuck Norris Roundhouse kicked one of the corners off.
- The original draft of The Lord of the Rings featured Chuck Norris instead of Frodo Baggins. It was only 5 pages long, as Chuck roundhouse-kicked Sauron’s ass halfway through the first chapter.
- Chuck Norris once challenged Lance Armstrong to a “who has more testicles contest”… Chuck Norris won by five.
- Chuck Norris once shot down a german fighter plane by snapping his fingers and yelling “Bang!”
- Once Chuck didn’t shit for days, when he finally did, Mount Everest was the result.

octombrie 23, 2007 Scris de Alex | Chuck Norris, Funny | | No Comments